今天我们来聊聊英语幽默小故事,以下6个关于英语幽默小故事的观点希望能帮助到您找到想要的大学知识。
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英语幽默小故事5篇
英语 故事 会出现学生认识或是不认识的单词，而这个单词的重复不断出现，会加深同学们对单词的记忆。这种记忆不是死记硬背，而是在潜移默化中，让学生记住。这次我给大家整理了英语幽默小故事，供大家阅读参考。 更多故事相关内容推荐↓↓↓ ★经典安徒生童话故事★ ★真实感人的故事★ ★中国历史寓言故事★ ★三国演义经典故事★ ★中外著名儿童故事★ 英语幽默小故事1 Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother. Why not? If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already. Everything that can be invented has been invented. 别捡地上的钱 一位经济学教授和一名学生正在大街上行走，这时他们看到前面的人行道上躺着一张20美元面值的钞票。学生走过去准备捡，教授制止了他，告诉他别自寻烦恼。 “为什么不捡?” “假如那是一张真20美元钞票的话，早就有人捡走了。” “该发明的都已经被发明出来了。” 英语幽默小故事2 The Less You Know, the More Money You Make Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives. Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true: Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power. Postulate 2: Time is Money. As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge. Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done. Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make. 知识越少挣钱越多 定理：工程师和科学家永远应当比经济专家挣钱少。 下面是对该定理的一个严格的数学证明： 假设一：知识就是力量(Power)。 假设二：时间就是金钱。 每个工程师都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知识=力量，时间=金钱，我们有：知识= 。求解金钱表达式，我们得到：金钱= 。 因此，当知识趋于零时，无论你做了多少功，金钱趋于无穷大。 结论：知识越少，你挣得的金钱就越多。 英语幽默小故事3 They Should Be Playing at Night A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introduces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night." 他们本该在晚上打球 神父、心理学家和经济学家三人结伴打高尔夫。前面的一组打球进度极其缓慢，这让三人大为恼火。他们开始抱怨，前面那组中的一人听到抱怨声后朝他们走了过来。他 自我介绍 说是前面那组球手们的助手，因为那组球手都是盲人。助手感谢他们三位耐心等待。神父听后忙说：“哦，不会吧?我一辈子都在祈祷同胞们过上更美好的生活，而我却在这里抱怨这些盲人!”心理学家也赶紧说：“我一生的信条是帮助别人，可是我却在这里抱怨这些盲人，我真惭愧!”这时只听经济学家说：“哦，别这样!他们本该在晚上打球的。” 英语幽默小故事4 A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.“Flight 354，“said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.“The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.”The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance. 一名飞行员在中西部上空听到地面指挥塔的指挥员在呼叫一民航调整其正常接收频率。"354航班，”指挥塔在呼叫，“请与堪萨斯市中心135.5频率联系。”这一指令重复了几次之后，竟没得到任何回音。最后，指挥塔的指挥员显然是被激怒了，他大声地锐:"354航班，西蒙说速与135. 5预率联系。”这一声显然奏效，只听对方慌忙地做了回答并迅速服从了指挥。” 英语幽默小故事5 Even My Driver Can Answer that Question A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture. The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it." 甚至我的司机都能回答那个问题 一位著名的博弈论专家一获得克拉克奖便开始在东北部各个知名大学展开一系列讲座。为了完成这项任务，他租了一辆车并雇了一名司机载着他到处赶场。没有别的事可做的司机就坐在课堂里听专家那科技含量颇高的讲座。几场讲座下来，司机对这位经济学家说：“我听了这么多次你的讲座，我觉得我自己也能讲了。”经济学家觉得这个想法很有趣，于是决定下次作讲座时他们两个互换位置。 司机完美无瑕地完成了演讲。可是当讲座结束后，听众中有人问了他一个技术含量相当高的问题，他不知如何开口回答。司机沉思了一会，回答道：“这个问题太简单了，连我的司机都能回答。” 英语幽默小故事相关 文章 ： ★ 英语幽默小故事合集5篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事合集5篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事10篇 ★ 英语幽默小故事合集7篇 ★ 幽默英语小故事16篇笑死人的 ★ 英语幽默小故事10篇(2) ★ 英语幽默小故事汇总大全 ★ 英语幽默小故事四篇 ★ 英语小故事5分钟幽默 ★ 英语幽默小故事带翻译精选 var _hmt = _hmt || []; (function() { var hm = document.createElement("script"); hm.src = "https://hm.baidu.com/hm.js?8a6b92a28ca051cd1a9f6beca8dce12e"; var s = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(hm, s); })();
幽默风趣的英语小故事【十篇】
【 #能力训练# 导语】大多数小朋友都喜欢听故事，如果是英语故事的话，不但可以在听故事的同时学习英语知识。下面是 分享的幽默风趣的英语小故事【十篇】。欢迎阅读参考！ 1.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇一 The miser and his gold Once upon a time there was a miser。 He hid his gold under a tree。 Every week he used to dig it up。 One night a robber stole all the gold。 When the miser came again， he found nothing but an empty hole。 He was surprised， and then burst into tears。All the neighbors gathered around him。 He told them how he used to e and visit his gold。 "Did you ever take any of it out?" asked one of them。 "No，" he said， "I only came to look at it。" "Then e again and look at the hole，" said the neighbor， "it will be the same as looking at the gold。" 守财奴 从前，有个守财奴将他的金块埋到一棵树下，每周他都去把他挖出来看看。 一天晚上，一个小偷挖走了所有的金块。 守财奴再来查看时，发现除了一个空洞什么都没有了。 守财奴便捶胸痛哭。哭声引来了邻居他告诉他们那里原先有他的金块。 问明了原因后，一个邻居问：“你使用过这些金块吗?” “没用过，” 他说，“我只是时常来看看。”“那么，以后再来看这个洞，”邻居说，“就像以前有金块时一样。” 2.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇二 bat falling upon the ground was caught by a weasel, ofwhom he earnestly besought his life. the weasel refused,saying, that he was by nature the enemy of all birds. thebat assured him that he was not a bird, but a mouse, andthus saved his life. shortly afterwards the bat again fellon the ground, and was carght by another weasel, whom helikewise entreated not to eat him. the weasel said that hehad a special hostility to mice. the bat assured him thathe was not a mouse, but a bat; and thus a second timeescaped.it is wise to turn circumstances to good account. 一只蝙蝠坠落到地面上来，被一只鼠狼捉住了，蝙蝠哀求讨饶。鼠狼不答应，说它自己最爱和鸟类为敌。蝙蝠便证明它自己不是鸟，只是一只老鼠，因此鼠狼就放了它。 不久这只蝙蝠又坠落到地上来，被另一只鼠狼捉住，它同样地哀求讨饶。那鼠狼说它自己最恨老鼠，蝙蝠证明自己并不是老鼠，而是一只蝙蝠;因此，它第二次又安然地逃离危险了。随机应变乃聪明之举。 3.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇三 A RAVEN saw a Swan and desired to secure for himself the same beautiful plumage. Supposing that the Swan's splendid white color arose from his washing in the water in which he swam, the Raven left the altars in the neighborhood where he picked up his living, and took up residence in the lakes and pools. But cleansing his feathers as often as he would, he could not change their color, while through want of food he perished. 乌鸦非常羡慕天鹅洁白的羽毛。 他猜想天鹅一定是经常洗澡，羽毛才变得如此洁白无 瑕。于是，他毅然离开了他赖以生存的祭坛，来到江湖边。 他天天洗刷自己的羽毛，不但一 点都没洗白，反而因缺少食物饥饿而死。 4.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇四 Mike is a little boy. He is only five years old. He is too small to go to school. So he can not read and write. One day he stood at my desk with a pencil in his hand. There was a big piece of paper on the desk. He wanted to draw a picture of himself. He drew lines and cleared them out, then drew more and cleared them out again. When I looked at the picture, he wasn't happy. "Well," he said at last to me, "I'll put a tail on it and make it a monkey." He began to add the tail. I began to laugh. 翻译 迈克是一个小男孩,他只有5岁。他太小还没有上学,因此也不会读和写。 一天,他手里拿着一支铅笔站在我的桌子前。桌子上放着一张大纸,他要画自画像。他画了几笔就擦掉了,再画几笔,有擦掉了。当我看一幅画时,他很不高兴。 "好吧,"他最后和我说,"我就再加一条尾巴,把他画成一只猴子吧!" 他开始加上小尾巴,我大笑起来。 5.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇五 There was a sturdy ram with a pair of thick horns upright on its head. It strutted about proudly and saw a fence built with bamboo and wood in front, which blocked its way. It cast a sidelong glance at the fence, lowered its neck and lunged at the fence, hoping to knock it down. The fence remained intact but the ram injured its own horns. If it had not injured its horns, the ram would have persisted obstinately in butting against the fence, even against the spokes of a wheel until it bled with a fractured skull. As a result, with its horns caught in the fence, the ram could neither advance nor retreat butbleat helplessly. 一头长得非常雄壮的公羊的头上，挺立着一对粗大的犄角。 公羊骄傲地踱着步，看见前面有一道竹木编成的篱笆挡住了它的去路。公羊斜着眼睛看看，便弯下脖子呼的一声撞上去，想把篱笆撞倒。结果篱笆纹丝不动，它反把自己的犄角碰伤了。 假如公羊没有碰伤犄角的话，那么它还会一个劲儿地撞下去，甚至向车轮的辐条上撞去，直到头破血流为止。 结果呢?公羊的犄角被篱笆夹住，进也不得，退也不得，只能“咩咩”不停地叫唤。 6.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇六 Making His Mark A man from the state of Chu was taking a boat across a river when he dropped his sword into the water carelessly. Immediately he made a mark on the side of the boat where the sword dropped, hoping to find it later. When the boat stopped moving, he went into the water to search for his sword at the place where he had marked the boat. As we know, the boat had moved but the sword had not. Isnt this a very foolish way to look for a sword? 楚国有个人坐船渡江时，他不小心把自己的一把宝剑掉落江中。他马上掏出一把小刀，在宝剑落水的船舷上刻上一个记号。船靠岸后，那楚人立即从船上刻记号的地方跳下水去捞取掉落的宝剑。他怎么找得到宝剑呢?船继续行驶，而宝剑却不会再移动。像他这样去找剑，真是太愚蠢可笑了。 7.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇七 A little rabbit is picking mushrooms in a forest. A wolf is coming. He is very hungry. “Oh, a little rabbit! This is my favourite food!” 一只小兔子正在森林里采蘑菇，一只狼来了，他很饿。“哦，一只小兔子!这是我最喜欢的食物!” The rabbit sees the wolf, but she is not afraid. She pretends to be poisoned by the mushrooms. The wolf thinks, “If I eat her, I will be poisoned, too.” So he goes away. 小兔子看见了狼，但是她并不害怕。她假装吃蘑菇中毒了。狼想到:“如果我吃了她，我也会中毒的。”所以他走开了。 Then the rabbit is very happy. She goes on picking the mushrooms. 小兔子非常高兴，她继续去采蘑菇。 8.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇八 Wolf and egret The wolf mistake swallowed a piece of bone， very suffered， running about， look for to visit the doctor everywhere。He met the egret， and talk to settle the service fees to invite him to take out the bone， egret to stretch in the wolf's throat the own head， and the 叼 outs bone， then toward to settle the good service fees wolfThe wolf answer says:" hello， friend， you can since the wolf 嘴 take back the head in the peace ground， and the difficult way return the dissatisfied foot， and how and still speak the guerdon?" This story elucidation， guerdon badly person act charitably， and is a bad person of cognition and does not speak the reputation's innate character。 狼与鹭鸶 狼误吞下了一块骨头，十分难受，四处奔走，寻访医生。他遇见了鹭鸶，谈定酬金请他取出骨头，鹭鸶把自我的头伸进狼的喉咙里，叼出了骨头，便向狼要定好的酬金。狼回答说：“喂，朋友，你能从狼嘴里平安无事地收回头来，难道还不满足，怎样还要讲报酬？” 这故事说明，对坏人行善的报酬，就是认识坏人不讲信用的本质。 9.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇九 Standing on the roof of a small goat and the Wolf Kid standing on the roof and saw the Wolf walked through the bottom and then abuse him, and laughed at him. The Wolf said, "oh, buddy, scold me is not you, but your terrain. " This story to illustrate, dili and cat often give a person the courage to fight against the strong. 翻译：站在屋顶的小山羊与狼 小山羊站在屋顶上，看见狼从底下走过，便谩骂他，嘲笑他。狼说道：“啊，伙计，骂我的不是你，而是你所处的地势。” 这故事说明，地利与天机常常给人勇气去与强者抗争。 10.幽默风趣的英语小故事 篇十 The Crow and The Pitcher A crow felt very thirsty. He looked for water everywhere. Finally, he found a pitcher. But there was not a lot of water in the pitcher. His beak could not reach it. He tried again and again, but still could not touch the water. When he was about to give up, an idea came to him. He took a pebble and dropped it into the pitcher. Then he took another and dropped it in. Gradually, the water rose, and the crow was able to drink the water. 口渴的乌鸦 一只乌鸦口渴了，到处找水喝。终于，他找到了一个大水罐。 然而，水罐里面的水并不多，他的尖嘴够不到水面，他试了一次又一次，都没有成功。 就在他想放弃的时候，他突然想到一个主意。乌鸦叼来了一块小石子投到水罐里，接着又叼了一块又一块石头放进去。 渐渐地，水面升高了。乌鸦高兴地喝到了水。 寓意：有些东西虽然看起来微不足道，但如果积少成多，便会带来很大变化。
英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事
在繁忙的学习工作中，阅读一些幽默笑话是我们放松心情的好方式。既然这样，那么你知道英语幽默小 故事 有哪些吗？下面我为大家带来英语幽默小故事16篇_英语趣味小故事，希望大家喜欢! 英语幽默小故事1：Midway Tactics Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue. The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!" The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!" The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE". 幽默故事翻译：中间战术 三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。 右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!” 左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!” 中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。 英语幽默小故事2：Very Pleased to Meet You During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers. One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months. Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England. Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys." "Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said. "Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister." "I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!" 幽默故事翻译： 在第二次世界大战中，有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作，当然遇到了许多男士，包括军官和士兵。 一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说，“我明天就要 出国 ，但如果我们能够相互写信，我会很高兴。”琼同意了，于是他们几个月里一直通着信。 后来，他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信，告诉她，他受伤了，住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。 琼到了医院，她对护士长说，“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。” “这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。 “噢，是的，”琼说，“我是他的妹妹。” “很高兴认识你，”护士长说，“我是他的母亲。” 英语幽默小故事3：Two Soldiers Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?" Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him. Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one. Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?" Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door. George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped. "What do you want now?" Bill said to him. George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?" 幽默故事翻译： 军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?” 比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。 乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。 这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?” 比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。 乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。 “你还要什么?”比尔问。 乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?” 英语幽默小故事4：Five Months Older The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join the army, but he was only 16 years old, and boys were allowed to join only if they were over 18. So when the army doctor examined him, he said that he was 18. But John‘s brother had joined the army a few days before, and the same doctor had examined him too. This doctor remembered the older boy‘s family name, so when he saw John‘s papers, he was surprised. "How old are you?" he said. "Eighteen, sir," said John. "But your brother was eighteen, too," said the doctor. "Are you twins?" "Oh, no, sir," said John, and his face went red. "My brother is five months older than I am." 幽默故事翻译：五个月大 第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。 可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。 “你多大了?”军医问。 “十八，长官。”约翰说。 “可你的哥哥也是十八岁，你们是双胞胎吗?” 约翰脸红了，说：“哦，不是，长官，我哥哥比我大五个月。” 英语幽默小故事5：West Point My father, brother and I visited West Point to see a football game between Army and Boston College. Taking a stroll before kickoff, we met many cadets in neatly pressed uniforms. Several visting fans asked the recruits if they would pose for photographs, "to show our son what to expect if he should attend West Point." One middle-aged couple approached a very attractive female cadet and asked her to pose for a picture. They explained, "We want to show our son what he missed by not coming to West Point." 幽默故事翻译： 父亲、哥哥和我到西点军校去观看一场陆军与波士顿大学之间的 橄榄球 赛。开始之前，我们到处转了转，碰到许多穿着整齐制服的学员。几名游客问新兵是否愿意摆出军姿来让他们摄。“好让我们的儿子知道，如果他到西点军校来学习会得到什么。” 一对中年夫妇走近一名非常漂亮的女学员，问她是否愿意摆个姿势照相。他们解释说：“我们想让儿子知道他没来西点军校错过了什么。” 英语幽默小故事6：Present for Girlfriend At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Shall I engrave her name on it?" the jeweler asked. The customer thought for a moment, and then said, "No-engrave it ‘To my one and only love‘. That way, if we ever break up, I can use it again." 幽默故事翻译：送给女友的礼物 在一家珠宝店里，一位年轻人买了一个贵重的小金盒作为送给女友的礼物。“要我把她的名字刻在上面吗?”珠宝商问道。 那名顾客想了一会儿，然后说道：“不--在上面刻‘给我唯一的爱’。这样，如果我们闹崩了，我还可以再用到它。” 英语幽默小故事7：Be Careful What You Wish For A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day. During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each. The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand. Next, it was the husband‘s turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I‘d like to have a woman 30 years younger than me." The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety. 幽默故事翻译：慎重许愿 一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。 庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。 妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。 接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。” 仙女拾起了 魔术 棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。 英语幽默小故事8：Wood Fire One woman lectured her best friend on the nature of the male animal. "Husbands are like wood fires; they go out if left unattened." "Does that mean," asked the other, "that they make ashes of themselves?" 幽默故事翻译：森林之火 一名妇女向她最好的朋友大谈雄性动物的特性：“丈夫们就像是森林里的火，一不注意，他们就会燃烧起来。” “那是不是意味着，”另一个问道，“他们将自己烧成灰烬?” 英语幽默小故事9：Best Reward A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him. "The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I‘d pulled you out, they‘d chuck me in." 幽默故事翻译：最好的奖赏 一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。 “最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。” 英语幽默小故事10：Napoleon Was ill Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year. "He‘s a good boy," said Jack‘s father, "and if you let him pass this time, I‘m sure he‘ll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well." "No, no, that‘s quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn‘t know!" "Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack‘s father. "You see, I‘m afraid we don‘t take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill." 幽默故事翻译：拿破仑病了 杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。 “他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说：“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。” “不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答。“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。” “先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说：“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。” var _hmt = _hmt || []; (function() { var hm = document.createElement("script"); hm.src = "https://hm.baidu.com/hm.js?1fc3c5445c1ba79cfc8b2d8178c3c5dd"; var s = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(hm, s); })();
10个英语幽默故事
下面是我整理的10个经典英语幽默 故事 ，欢迎大家阅读! 英语幽默故事1. When I checked on to a hotel in my last visit to the U.S.A., the receptionist said: “ Do you want a room with a shower or a bath?” Thinking of the money, I asked, “ What’s the difference?” “Well, “ he said, “ with a shower, you have to stand up.” 英语幽默故事2. A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. “ I feel terrible,” she said. “ I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seam of your trousers.” “Forget it,” consoled her husband. “”Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.” “Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. “ And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole. 英语幽默故事3. The new bank teller was given a package of dollar bills with the instruction to count them and see if there were a hundred. He counted up to fifty-eight and then threw the bundle down. “ Why did you stop?” asked the bank manager ” If it’s right this far, said the teller, “ It’s probably right all the way.” 英语幽默故事4. Landlady: An inventor once had this room. He invented an explosive. New Lodger: Oh, I suppose those spots on the ceiling are the explosives. L: No, that’s the inventor. 英语幽默故事5. Plumber: I’m sorry I’m late, but I just couldn’t get here any sooner. M: Well, no time’s been wasted. While we were waiting for you, I taught my wife how to swim. 英语幽默故事6. M: There are two slices of pie in the cupboard this morning and now there’s only one. Can you explain that? S: It was so dark, I didn’t see the other slice. 英语幽默故事7. In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, the teacher asked one of the boys, “ What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?” “ To be deaf,” replied the boy.” “ Nonsense!” said the teacher angrily. “ Why, sir! Don’t you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?” the boy asked in reply disdainfully. 英语幽默故事8. A newspaper boy was selling newspapers in the street. He kept shouting at the top of his voice: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-two persons were swindled!” His curiosity aroused, a man went over and bought a copy. He searched through it and couldn’t find anything about the swindling case. Then he heard the newspaper boy shout: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-three persons were swindled!” 英语幽默故事9. Five-year-old Tommy is fascinated by planes, and rushed outside every time he hears one to watch it until it becomes a speck in the distance. So when he finally had the chance to fly for the first time, he is pop-eyed with excitement. About ten minutes after take-off, he asks expectantly, “ When do we start to get smaller, Mummy?” 英语幽默故事10. A man was told by his physician that he had only six months to live. “ Doc,” he said, “ is there anything I can do?” “ Yes,” replied the doctor. “ First, give all your possessions to the poor. Next, move to a cold-water shack in the backwoods. And then marry a woman with nine young children.” “ Will this give me more time?” “ No-- but it’ll be the longest six months in your life!”
幽默的英语小故事
英语 故事 是英语教材中提升学生学习兴趣、展现学习要点的重要载体,是英语教学无法绕过的槛。我整理了幽默的英语小故事 ，欢迎阅读! 幽默的英语小故事篇一 名声与艰苦劳动 During the Gulf War，my sister，Jane，bought a flag and asked her apartment's maintenance man, a Vietnam vet，to install a pole for him. When she offered to pay him,he told her there was no way he could take money for putting up the American flag. 海湾战争期间，我妹妹珍妮买了一面美国国旗，她请房子的维修工—一位老兵给她竖一根旗杆。当我妹妹为此什给他钱时，他说，他帮助挂美国国旗，无论如何都不该收钱。 Jane contacted her local newspaper，and they published an article about the incident. The next time she encountered the maintenance man, he told her that everyone he knew had read her story and that she had made him a celebrity.Jane jokingly asked for his autograph. 珍妮来到当地报杜，就此事在报上发表了一篇 文章 。当珍妮第二次碰到那位维修工时，他对珍妮说他所认识的人都看了她写的报章，是她使他成为了名人。珍妮开玩笑地说让他给签个名。 "I don't have time,"the man replied. "I'm too busy setting up American flags.” 他回答说:“那我可没时间，挂美国国旗的事忙得我不可开交。” 幽默的英语小故事篇二 独自在家 My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from, knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late，my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignosed it,but the knocing continued. Frantic，sloe began to bark,softly at first，then louder and louder. Much to her relief,the knocking soon stopped. 我妻子独自在家时，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子听到有人敲门，她就没理，但敲门的声音总是不停，慌乱之中，她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫，随后她的叫声越来越大。敲门声很快地停了，她这才松了口气。 The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect."I came by last night,"he told me,"but I left when your wife barked at me!" 第二天，送报的小孩来我家收钱，那小孩告诉我:“我昨晚上就来了，你老婆老冲我学狗叫，我就走了。” 幽默的英语小故事篇三 彼得的长相决定了分数 One semester when my brother, Peter，attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis，an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed，and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus. 我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时，有一个学期，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做 素描 的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-. The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big，”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide， and the feet are enormous." 那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调，教授说:“脑袋太大，肩太宽，脚也过于大了。” The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said. 第二天，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并说:“好，可以得A-。” 看了“幽默的英语小故事 ”的人还看了： 1. 英语幽默小故事10篇 2. 幽默英语小故事16篇 3. 英语小故事3分钟幽默大全 4. 简单幽默英语小故事精选 5. 有趣搞笑的英语故事大全 6. 英语幽默小故事带翻译大全
英语经典幽默故事三则？
在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面我为大家带来经典幽默英语故事三则，希望大家喜欢! 经典幽默英语故事：先买票 Joke told by Peter Jennings, on last night, attributed as "typical Russian Humor": 昨晚，彼德·金宁斯给我们讲了一个典型的俄国式幽默故事: Two Russians are standing in a very long line for vodka. The first one says, "This line is too long! We must always wait for everything! I am going to go to the Kremlin and shoot Gorbachev!” 两个俄国人正在排队买伏特加酒。一个人说:“这队太长了!我们为什么做什么事情都要等呢?我现在就去克里姆林宫枪毙戈尔巴乔夫!” After about an hour, he returns. 一个小时之后，他回来了。 The second Russian asks him, "Well，did you shoot him!” 另一个俄国人问他:“你射中他了吗?” "No, the line was too long!” “没有，队伍太长了!” 经典幽默英语故事：一个醉汉的忏悔 A priest was hearing a woman’s confession When a drunk stumbled into the booth on the opposite side. As the priest was finishing with her he heard the drunk groaning as if in quite some pain. He slid open the other panel and asked "Are you ok?" All he heard was another groan. He asked again and the drunk finally replied, "Yeah, I feel lots better. Do you have any toilet paper on your side?" 一位牧师正在听一个妇女的忏悔，这时一个醉汉跌跌撞撞的走进了牧师另一边的暗箱。当牧师结束倾听那个妇女的忏悔以后他听到那个醉汉在 *** ，那声音好像是很痛苦的样子。牧师把另一边暗箱的门拉开问:“你没事吧?”这时他又听到了一声 *** 。他又问了一遍后那个醉汉回答:“没事，我感觉好多了。你那边有手纸没有?” 经典幽默英语故事：可怜的建筑工人 A man walks into a bar with a Leprechaun on his shoulder. He walks up the bar and sets on down. He proceeds to order a beer for himself and for the little Leprechaun. Well, the guy and the Leprechaun drink about two beers when finally the Leprechaun jumps down off the guy' s shoulder, trots down the bar and stands in front of a rather large construction worker. He looks at the construction worker and goes, "ppphhhbbbttttttt" right to the big guy's face. 一个男人和他肩上的小精灵一起走进了酒吧。他走到吧台前坐下，然后为自己和他肩上的小精灵点了两杯啤酒。他们喝完了两杯啤酒之后，小精灵从那个男人的肩上跳下来跑到了吧台的另一边，站在了一个大块头的建筑工人面前。小精灵看着那个建筑工人，正对着他的脸说:“呸呸呸。” Well the Leprechaun trots on back and hops back onto his buddy's shoulder. The construction worker is a little ticked, but decides to shine on this breach of manners. 之后那个小精灵跑回了带他来的那个男人的肩上。那个建筑工人有一点生气，但是出于礼貌就没动声色。 After another beer and a half though，the Leprechaun hops down and again goes in front of the construction worker and goes, "ppphhhbbbbttt" to the construction workers face. 又喝了一两杯后，那个小精灵又从那人肩上跳下来，到那个建筑工人面前对着他的脸说:“呸呸呸。” The Leprechaun trots on back and hops back on his buddy's shoulder. The construction worker is visibly bothered，but decides not to do anything again. 之后那个小精灵又跑回了带他来的那个男人的肩上。很显然，那个建筑工人看上去已经很烦了，但还是决定不采取任何行动。 Well sure enough，the guy and the Leprechaun drink another beer. Soon enough the Leprechaun hops down trots in front of the construction worker and goes, "ppphhhbbbbtttl" to his face. Well, this time the big guy has had enough of the little guy's manners and walks over to the fellow with the Leprechaun, again on his shoulder. 那人和小精灵又喝了一杯后，小精灵又做了同样的事情，到那个建筑工人前面对着他的脸说:“呸呸呸。”这回那个大块头再也忍不了那个男人和小精灵的行为了，于是就跟着那个小精灵来到了那个男人面前。 The construction worker tells this man, "If your little friend does that again，1' m going to cut off his little dick!” The fellow tells the big guy，"Well Leprechauns don't have dicks. ”The big guy asks, "Well how does he go pee?" The fellow with the Leprechaun on his shoulder looks at the big guy and goes, "ppppphhhhbbbbtttttt!” 那个建筑工人对他们说:“如果你的那个小朋友再那么做的话，我就把他给阉了!”那个男人告诉建筑工人说:“可惜，他没有那玩意儿。”那个建筑工人说:“那么他怎么上厕所?”那个肩上驼著小精灵的男人看着那个大块头建筑工人告诉他:“呸呸呸。”
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